Emma Leigh-Currill
The assessment
We discussed my reaction to the cancellation, and I was so sorry for causing a fuss. This is very much another ‘me’ thing in that I have often found it hard to self-advocate and when I do I feel a terrible sense of being ‘in the way’ or ‘putting people out’ when I shouldn’t be. It’s that learning to take up my own space that I find hard like I just always need to make things easier for other people. (Which, actually, is really not me because when I’m comfortable with people and my surroundings I am very outspoken in my views!)
The psychologist observed my behaviour, listened to why I found the cancellation of the appointment so hard, had read all my questionnaire responses and also my Husband’s and after asking questions (targeted I know realise) then asked if she could talk to me about switching from an ADHD assessment to an autism assessment. She didn’t push and gave me the choice after offering her reasons as to why she thought an autism assessment would be better.
Autism had also been at the back of my mind as something that I thought I would be assessed for after the ADHD assessment and because this was already in my mind as a possibility (the psychologist didn’t know this) I was happy to switch.
The 1hr 45 minutes of the appointment passed very quickly (it felt) and it was good to have someone ask those questions that really made me think about what made me, me. It was good to be honest and not have to mask about my difficulties and not worry that I might be judged because of them.
At the end of the appointment the psychologist (who has a degree in psychology and 2 PhD’s in different aspects of psychology) said she was 75% sure that I was autistic but that I know needed to fill in the autism questionnaires -I’d just filled in the questionnaires for ADHD. We did this over the following few days (my husband and I) and my brother offered to fill in the developmental questionnaire due to my mother having died and I don’t have contact with my father.
A couple of weeks later I received my official diagnosis for autism and that’s when I, finally, started to be kinder to myself.
Click here to read ‘What Difference Does Having a Diagnosis Make?’
